Growing Up

Love is in the air on our street.

We caught a certain eight-and-a-half year old delivering love notes to the boy across the street.

In the meantime, Alex has fallen in love with himself, taking selfies and spending hours in front of the mirror.

All of this was enough of a development for this Mama to declare an “amnesty lunch”, which is where you get a Mama date and talk about all kinds of awkward things.  Anything is fair game, and no one gets in trouble for anything “confessed” or any questions asked.  We have them regularly, as I want them familiar with coming to us with questions and problems – while the problems are still small – especially as they slowly (too quickly) turn into pre-teens.

We also use the time to review principles of our faith and family culture, as well as explore boundaries and peer pressure examples.

We also have a lot of conversations about the kinds of choices their biological parents made, and the consequences from those choices. We want them to see patterns so they are able to choose differently.  They are asking more direct questions as they get older, wanting to know more, and about us, too, not just their biological parents.  Sometimes it’s a little confessional for all of us!

It’s been just the last few months these conversations are becoming more and more amongst themselves without prompting from us, requested by them, and far more deep than superficial.

They are growing up so fast!

About Emily

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since 2009. I serve as a Chaplain, and work as a counselor. I got bilateral cochlear implants in 2010, but will always love sign language. I choose books over television, and organics over processed. Nothing is as close to flying as ballroom dancing - except maybe running, when in the solo mood. I would rather be outside than anywhere else, especially at the river riding my bike or kayaking. PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy, and currently doing a post-doc in Jewish Studies and an MDiv in Pastoral Counseling. The best thing about Emily World is that it's always an adventure, even if (not so) grammatically precise. The only thing better than writing is being married to a writer. Nathan Christensen and I were married in the Oklahoma City temple on 13 October 2012, and have since fostered more than eighty-five children. We have adopted the six who stayed, and are totally and completely and helplessly in love with our family. Nathan writes musical theater, including "Broadcast" (a musical history of the radio) and an adaption of Lois Lowry's "The Giver". He served his mission in South Korea, has taught song-writing in New York City public schools, and worked as a theater critic for a Tucson newspaper. This is not an official Web site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


Growing Up — 2 Comments

  1. Of all the things I might have done imperfectly as a parent, I started talking to each child as infants. I explained things to them. I always made it clear that no subject was off limits. As pre teens and teens, the only problem with this policy was that sensitive subjects never came up until 9:30 or 10 pm and these were not short talks! One thing I learned personally – when I stayed up for these special discussions, I was able to get up and go to work the next morning without feeling tired. If I stayed up for TV or such, I was exhausted the next day – all day!

    • So true! We found this true with our older foster children, for sure! It’s going to be so many teens all at once!