I took 13 out, just her and me, as a special treat for such good days recently. She has been helpful, and kind to the little ones, and had an excellent attitude. I have been impressed. She still is not attaching so much, but we have had moments of affection and closeness, of hugs and hair braiding, of late night chats and cooking together. I though, maybe naively, that maybe she would come around over time.
Until tonight, when we found $300 missing.
It was our tithing money from last month.
It’s my fault for forgetting to turn it in.
We will see tomorrow, with a random pocket check before school and a room search after she is gone to school.
I see now, in a new way, how God must see me sometimes, when he is watching me mess up or throw away all He has prepared for me.
I’m just trying to help, He says.
That’s why I went to the car wash today, because I needed a good cleaning.
I’m just trying to help, I say.
That’s when she disappears into the shower for a good hour, just because there isn’t anywhere else to hide.
We’ll see what happens tomorrow.