Car Wash

I took 13 out, just her and me, as a special treat for such good days recently.  She has been helpful, and kind to the little ones, and had an excellent attitude.  I have been impressed. She still is not attaching so much, but we have had moments of affection and closeness, of hugs and hair braiding, of late night chats and cooking together. I though, maybe naively, that maybe she would come around over time.

Until tonight, when we found $300 missing.

It was our tithing money from last month.

It’s my fault for forgetting to turn it in.

We will see tomorrow, with a random pocket check before school and a room search after she is gone to school.

Sadness.

I see now, in a new way, how God must see me sometimes, when he is watching me mess up or throw away all He has prepared for me.

I’m just trying to help, He says.

That’s why I went to the car wash today, because I needed a good cleaning.

I’m just trying to help, I say.

That’s when she disappears into the shower for a good hour, just because there isn’t anywhere else to hide.

We’ll see what happens tomorrow.



Posted in Fostering permalink

About Emily

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since 2009. I serve as a Chaplain, and work as a counselor. I got bilateral cochlear implants in 2010, but will always love sign language. I choose books over television, and organics over processed. Nothing is as close to flying as ballroom dancing - except maybe running, when in the solo mood. I would rather be outside than anywhere else, especially at the river riding my bike or kayaking. PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy, and currently doing a post-doc in Jewish Studies and an MDiv in Pastoral Counseling. The best thing about Emily World is that it's always an adventure, even if (not so) grammatically precise. The only thing better than writing is being married to a writer. Nathan Christensen and I were married in the Oklahoma City temple on 13 October 2012, and have since fostered more than eighty-five children. We have adopted the six who stayed, and are totally and completely and helplessly in love with our family. Nathan writes musical theater, including "Broadcast" (a musical history of the radio) and an adaption of Lois Lowry's "The Giver". He served his mission in South Korea, has taught song-writing in New York City public schools, and worked as a theater critic for a Tucson newspaper. This is not an official Web site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Comments

Car Wash — 1 Comment

  1. Such a level of disappointment to be worked through when a youth in my stewardship fails. Musings of my part and Satan’s plan and reminding myself, Moses 1:39! DANG IT! My inspiration for today! Thanks.