This is our little red book, and some Valentine’s candy:
We learned about the little book in marriage class with the Ahlborn’s at church. It’s a little book we write notes to each other in, hiding it for sappy surprises at different times so the other knows how special they are.
Tonight I feel special, for because I found it in my bag when I unpacked in the chaplain’s room.
Oh, and cheese:
Cheesey sap, that’s us.
I am so grateful to have ways, like Facetiming the kids before bed, for us to all stay connected on the nights I am away. It reminds me of when Nathan is gone on his trips to New York, except I am not so far away.
And tonight I really needed it, with court tomorrow.
It was a blessing to me, his little note, not so different from the blessing he gave Five tonight for his big day tomorrow.
And now we lay down, all of us together but apart and not yet knowing if we are together, trying to sleep before the emotional day of retelling and recounting, reframing and rehashing, holding our breath and grieving regardless.
There is nothing left to do but wait and see.
Oh, and to make sure this new judge doesn’t try to saw Five in half or anything.
Her name isn’t Solomon, but I know to give him up before letting him be torn to pieces.
If he hasn’t been already.
Nathan said he cried and cried and cried after his blessing tonight.
The blessing said his dad pushed for trial because he loves Five so much, and that it is good for Five to know that, and to know how much we love him, too, and how good it is that so many people love him.
And that this very love is what will grow him up into a good man, a man with access to the priesthood, a man who loves his own family someday.
And Five just sobbed.
Maybe because Five loves everyone around him more purely and intently than most anyone I have ever known.
And that’s a lot of love.