Oh my goodness, I am on such a high right now, as thrilled and excited as last week was hard.
I love it so much.
School may be my favorite thing ever.
One of my patient families moved this week, so I had a chunk of time this morning to get caught up on classes before going to work. When I did go to work, and needed to stay late catching those peeps who cancelled over the holidays and now need back into a regular schedule, Nathan helped out by taking the kids to the (indoor) playground so I could finish work. Then I got to put them to bed while he went to symphony rehearsal, which gave me time to finish all my homework for this week!
And I didn’t neglect or fail anyone! The house maybe, because it is a disaster, but not my family!
AND THERE ARE SO MANY BOOKS!
Those and the leadership books, which are super uber duper awesome.
Most of the others are good, but things I know, which actually helps. A LOT. Having so many graduate classes had me concerned about what was being asked of me, but it is all working out perfectly.
Because, as it turns out, once you spend two years doing post-doc studies in Hebrew, then going back to Master’s level work in English is way easier. WAAAAyyyyyyyyyy easier.
Who knew I grew some academic muscles?! After spending two years having to wrestle with the Hebrew language in heavy, hard texts, just to even get ready for assignments, much less doing my assignments in Hebrew, then it seemed like nothing to read an easier text in English and process the material and get my assignments done! What a relief! I had no idea all that hard work in Hebrew would make my other studies so much easier!
By the time Nathan came home from symphony rehearsal, I was done with all my homework for this week! I am so excited! I have two more videos to watch that aren’t posted yet, and the quizzes to take after that, and of course there are papers and projects to get done this semester, but I can work on those on days I steal away while kids are gone and my work is done – if I am disciplined and just get it done, instead of being a lazy slacker just because I have some down time.
The impossible has become possible, and I am grateful.
We will not be in crisis this semester like I had thought, as long as I stay focused and on top of it so I don’t drown. I also don’t think we will have to sacrifice nearly as much family time as I thought, except for my overnights at either hospital (for the ER shifts or for the chaplain shifts). I think it is going to be fine and easily manageable in the evenings after kids are in bed and while Nathan is doing his creative work – writing or symphony or anything. That way when kids are awake or Nathan is home, we can still just be together without school getting in the way. I am so relieved of it that I could just cry. It is still a lot of work, and still hard to handle so much, but now I know we are going to be just fine. I couldn’t believe I got through all of it tonight! But that’s why it felt so much easier and faster, because it was in English and not Hebrew. Whew! I know I keep saying it, but I could not believe the difference that made, or how fast my work went even with so much to do.
It also means that I can spend this weekend playing with my kids instead of drowning in coursework, which is what I was worried was going to happen until summer time.
I am so excited to have my life back, unexpectedly, even though I know I can’t just blow it off. I still have to get it done, but it feels so do-able now! I am really so excited, I cannot tell you!
Even if it means I behaved myself and got it done, instead of going out for sweet potato fries with my friend.
But oh! It feels like a miracle, such a burden lifted off me, and I am so excited to get these classes done, and to learn from the reading and assignments, and to get through this crazy 12 weeks! This crazy 12 weeks that will not be as bad as I thought it would be!
The whole day was perfect, even getting new referrals to replace the family that moved, which I needed or I would have been under my hours at work and lost the little PTO I have left. Or not earned any. Or something. I am really not smart enough for all the new-fangled numbers at work now.
But I am really good at Hebrew!
And who knew Hebrew made English so much easier?!
OH MY GOODNESS, I CANNOT TELL YOU!
Besides saving our family, I am so excited that I will get to just enjoy my classes, instead of being stressed out by them. It will be fun for me, play for me, the kind of thing that gives me energy and excitement and downtime in my life.
I also am liking the chaplaincy more and more the more I learn about it and get started in the program, though I am grateful for my clinical experience so that I am not starting out as green as some of the other new chaplains are. We will see how that experience goes.
But tonight is my turn to sleep! And I am going to claim every second of it! On call for the ER was bad last night, and I think I didn’t get back into bed until 3 this morning. I had to so consciously choose healthy food today, making sure I wasn’t reaching for food or drinks just because I was tired or to try and stay awake. It really made a difference, and only once was I too tired almost, but a good walk in the crisp air outside helped and refreshed me to finish work and hug up my kids when they got home.
Now I will go to sleep, dreaming of my sermon texts just assigned me, and wondering what I will learn and what I will say, and giggling that this is my crazy life, and so grateful for this awakening after the hard years we have had. This is good for me, I can feel it, and I am glad of it.
It’s funny how often Heavenly Father pulls us out of the mud by giving us work to do, yes?