Hats and Pillowcases

My Deaf friend Minerva drove all the way up here to say hello, and gave me this amazing hat to use if I need something fancy or to keep the sun out of my eyes and off my skin during chemo. It’s so My Fair Lady!


A new friend from our ward, Jen Wegner picked the perfect time to drop by, since she also knows a lot of sign language! She sewed me cheery party ribbons and a fun pillowcase for chemo. How fun is that?


The Bristols came by again, bringing me a purple butterfly pin, and Sister Roberts came by to say hello, and Sister Lewis brought me a cheer-up book and Sister Stephens brought me ovarian cancer supporter bracelets to pass out!


I slept for three hours after that, and just as I was missing Nathan, Rachel showed up with a hug and good chat while I rested. I managed to eat a few bites of lunch, but most everything makes me feel sick. I did try.

I slept again after that visit, and sweet Nathan came to take me home. He packed up our things and I signed my papers and they wheeled me out.

Just as we were leaving, Kristi Bray came in, and gave me another teal cup, which Nathan said was perfect because I won’t surrender it for washing, but now he can wash one while I am using the other one. I also want to talk biology with her, about this bizarre cancer I have.

I am so grateful for such good people in our lives, so many helpful resources, and such good support and encouragement. It has been overflowing, and wrapped me like a blanket in comfort and peace and safety. I am so grateful!

We got me settled into my chair, and the grandparents brought the kids home. Five out his little face mine with a heavy sigh, saying he was so sorry I am a little sick, and so sorry he isn’t very good yet at being good. The toddler wanted my new bracelet right away, naturally, and kept bringing me toys and games in trade.

She is in bed now, and the grandparents have taken five to see Peter Pan.

Nathan gave me a Popsicle to get my fever lower, and then evened it out by making me some chicken broth with egg in it, Korean style. Someone brought him a frozen meal, and we are so grateful for the care of our family.

I am so, so tired. I have only had one baby far, when I got stuck in my chair and couldn’t move and it was pulling on my staples. I cried out in my sick-voice, sounding like a sad whale! Tears were pouring out, and Nathan rushed to me so quickly and helped me fix it right away. He is so good to me.

Other bonus prizes include our bathroom already having handicapped bars, so it is easier to lower myself down on my own. Nathan’s parents also got me a potty chair that goes over the toilet, and it has saved me a great deal of pain while giving me more independence. I am grateful, even these are the new humiliating adventures of my life.

Tomorrow Nathan will take the kids with him to primary, and I have two friends coming to stay for a good part of the day. That way Nathan can do his calling without abandoning me or worrying about me. His parents offered to take them to Pawhuska with them, but Nathan said taking them to their primary classes they usually attend is part of maintaining normal.

My normal is different for a time. I have to eat, but it is very difficult. I get a special potty chair just like the toddler. My incisions are healing well, but I still am wrapped in the girdle that holds me together while all my insides get used to being stitched together in their new places.

Mostly I sleep, sleep, sleep. Everyone is so worried I won’t pace myself, or that I will do too much, but I can barely stay awake to function at all. Sometimes I am not asleep exactly, but physically can’t keep my eyes open or move. Other times I cannot seem to wake up and feel how easy it would be to just slip away – then my sleep becomes restless and listless, because I don’t want to be lost.

I am so grateful to so many holding our family together so I that I am not lost, and so that we do not drown. Truly, we are so very grateful.

Many thanks, really.

About Emily

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since 2009. I serve as a Chaplain, and work as a counselor. I got bilateral cochlear implants in 2010, but will always love sign language. I choose books over television, and organics over processed. Nothing is as close to flying as ballroom dancing - except maybe running, when in the solo mood. I would rather be outside than anywhere else, especially at the river riding my bike or kayaking. PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy, and currently doing a post-doc in Jewish Studies and an MDiv in Pastoral Counseling. The best thing about Emily World is that it's always an adventure, even if (not so) grammatically precise. The only thing better than writing is being married to a writer. Nathan Christensen and I were married in the Oklahoma City temple on 13 October 2012, and have since fostered more than eighty-five children. We have adopted the six who stayed, and are totally and completely and helplessly in love with our family. Nathan writes musical theater, including "Broadcast" (a musical history of the radio) and an adaption of Lois Lowry's "The Giver". He served his mission in South Korea, has taught song-writing in New York City public schools, and worked as a theater critic for a Tucson newspaper. This is not an official Web site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


Hats and Pillowcases — 2 Comments

  1. Much prayer and love to you! You are amazing.. and honestly you look so radiant in the hat picture!! It is striking! I think it’s the Glow of his blessing on you! <3