This is me, awake at 4am to study for my Hebrew final.
It’s the only time I have without husband or children or packing or DHS or moving or patients to care for or house to clean or paperwork to do.
It’s my favorite time of day, except for curling up with Nathan at the end of a day, or starting it with sleepy eyed babies.
I am off work today, with DHS coming first thing, then the final walk-through of the new house in Bartlesville, then my Hebrew final in Tulsa, then back to Bartlesville for closing on the house.
My Hebrew final may get sacrificed if I can’t finish on time to get back for closing on the house.
Then we come back to Owasso to take the books and food storage tonight. These are already packed and easy to move so they are out of the way. It gives the kids a way to help without them having to work so hard – the cans of food storage won’t hurt them, but they will make a good assembly line to help put them away.
Then we come back here for a last night of sleeping, before packing up beds and another load on Tuesday and unloading in Bartlesville after work.
So today will be long, especially for starting so early. The kids are restless, with me finding three different ones on the couch in the night, and just now sending a fourth back to their bed so I can even have a place to study. They are excited, though, especially the twins who are hoping to get moved before the big book reports are due Wednesday. Clever tactics.
I would be overwhelmed, but there is only so much I can do, and I can only do one thing at a time.
And right now, my job is to study for my Hebrew final, so that I can finish off this last bookend of grief. I began the class in response to my mother dying, knowing I needed something for my head to do besides just swimming in so many feelings. I had always dabbled in Hebrew and played in Hebrew, but not taken a formal class. It was one of the hardest classes I have ever taken, and got harder when second semester began with six foster kids. But nothing has been more exciting, except maybe chemistry or physics, where it works the same in that each principle creates a hundred more possibilities. I am pretty sure Hebrew is very related to chemistry and physics, and I have loved it very much. I don’t want to lose what I have learned, so I will continue reading in Hebrew as much as I can. I have my Jewish studies classes still, and I have the Tenach, or Old Testament in Hebrew. But I am also at the end of Ether in my personal daily study, and so will finish in a week or two, and then begin using the Book of Mormon in Hebrew for my daily studies. I am really excited for that.
I am less excited about my Hebrew final in the way of everything today, and mostly just want that done and crossed off my list.
And so the day begins.