Jessica’s Prayer

Tonight I tucked Jessica into bed, and we prayed about Grandma.

When we finished, she whispered to me and said, “Don’t forget Grandma loves you even if you miss her.”

That made me cry, and I hugged her and told her not to forget, either.

She said, “I am trying. But I sure miss her a lot.”

She asked me how Grandma can be Grandma if her body goes under the ground.

I told her to hold my hand and close her eyes.  I squeezed her hand, and asked how she felt my hand squeeze hers.

“With my body.”

“But with your eyes closed, how do you know it is me?”

She said, “because I feel you and I know you and I love you. So I can hear you with my eyes closed.”

I told her it is the same with Grandma.  If Grandma is separated from her body until the resurrection, she doesn’t have her body to hug Jessica or hold her or squeeze her.  But she still has her love, and her memory, and her happy feelings when she thinks about hugging Jessica.

Jessica seemed to accept that, and thought about it for a minute.

Then she asked how to remember Grandma so she never forgets.

I told her to close her eyes again, and to tell me what Grandma looks like.

She said, “she is old, with some lines on her face, and some poodle hair, and her body is broken so she can’t pick me up anymore.”

I asked if Grandma wanted to pick her up, even though she couldn’t.

She said yes.

I said, “then not much has changed, has it?”

She agreed with that.

Then I asked her what happens in the resurrection.   She said, “Grandma will get her body back again, but Jesus will make her all better, so she will be healthy and strong and fast.”

I asked her if that was true, then to close her eyes again and tell me what Grandma will look like at the resurrection.

She closed her eyes for a long time, and I thought she might have fallen asleep.  But then she suddenly said, “Now I see her!  She is so young and beautiful!  And she is happy!  So her face has a smile on it!  But no lines, and she is so happy.  And she can run with her dogs!  And she will pick me up someday!  And I will be her little granddaughter but she will by my young grandma and we will run and play.”

I told her that was the right answer.

She then asked me if she can pray for Heavenly Father to send Grandma an email from her so that Grandma will remember Jessica, too.

I assured her that Grandma could never forget Jessica.

She adamantly replied, however, that “if you have a resurrection body then that is a real body, and real bodies need real letters.”   She then insisted I write down her letter to Grandma, and promise to deliver it to Heavenly Father to send it in the Jesus mail.

I told her that the scriptures promise that anytime we share our testimonies, the angels can read them and hear them and study them, and that it always helps them learn and that it helps them progress, and that it also helps them know how they can help us, too.

She said, “well that’s good news, but you still need to write my letter for so I can testify it is true.”

So I wrote her letter:

Dear Heavenly Father,

This is Jessica. I miss Grandma. It was a car wreck. She died.  It was bad. She is dead. I am sad. She is not alive. When Jesus comes back, Grandma will come alive again. All the people will come alive again. But she does not have her body to hug me. You cannot hug without a body. Hugs need bodies. So I need to send a resurrection letter for Grandma. I want Grandma to know I will never forget Grandma. I love Grandma. I love Grandma forever. Grandmas are why we have families forever. I want my family forever. I promise to see Grandma at the temple. Grandma can be my grandma forever. You never forget a Grandma. Grandma doesn’t forget me, either. I know because she always gives me her cherry. She only gives a cherry if she really loves you. And she gave me all her cherries so I know she loves me. She loves me because she is my Grandma. But grandma died. And I miss her. And dear Heavenly Father tell Grandma I love her.  And tell her she loves me, too.  And tell her Aunt Emily loves her, too.  And tell Aunt Emily that Grandma loves her. Because we know it is true. Even when we are sad. Because Grandma died. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Love, Jessica

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About Emily

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since 2009. I serve as a Chaplain, and work as a counselor. I got bilateral cochlear implants in 2010, but will always love sign language. I choose books over television, and organics over processed. Nothing is as close to flying as ballroom dancing - except maybe running, when in the solo mood. I would rather be outside than anywhere else, especially at the river riding my bike or kayaking. PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy, and currently doing a post-doc in Jewish Studies and an MDiv in Pastoral Counseling. The best thing about Emily World is that it's always an adventure, even if (not so) grammatically precise. The only thing better than writing is being married to a writer. Nathan Christensen and I were married in the Oklahoma City temple on 13 October 2012, and have since fostered more than eighty-five children. We have adopted the six who stayed, and are totally and completely and helplessly in love with our family. Nathan writes musical theater, including "Broadcast" (a musical history of the radio) and an adaption of Lois Lowry's "The Giver". He served his mission in South Korea, has taught song-writing in New York City public schools, and worked as a theater critic for a Tucson newspaper. This is not an official Web site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

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