When you are young and stupid, you make messes just so that you can find the chaos you promised to organize.
That is construction, nailing the pieces back together into what didn’t work the first time, repeating the tragedy again and again, unaware of the cycle despite hamster wheel exhaustion. It is possible, and there can be love, but there is little joy until the project is finished, and usually no one does the work to actually finish, so no one ever gets the satisfaction of the results.
When you are older and wiser, you know that you *are* the chaos, enough to stop that nonsense.
That is creation, to organize the chaos, to take pieces that already are and create something new that has ever been before. This requires love from before the beginning, a distinct and unique vision, and endurance enough to find joy in the process (because we are never finished).
Charles Dickens said:
The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed, but a thing created is loved before it exists.
If it is true that things are designed before they are created, that trees grow from acorns and vegetables from seeds and houses from blueprints and dinner from recipes and paintings from sketches and bread from yeast, then it is true there is a connection between what we design and what we create.
If we are authentic within ourselves, and stay true to what we designed, then we will easily create.
It is only hard when we work against ourselves, trying to create things we have not first worked to design.
It may take time, and it may take practice, but creating will be easy because we can already see what will be even when it is not yet.
And if we are true to that, then the only hard piece is defending our vision and not being distracted by what doesn’t match.
Any pieces that don’t match the vision, don’t belong.
It’s that simple.
If we remember that, then the waiting is more bearable and the practice is easier to endure.
Because we know what we are waiting for, and we know what we are trying for.
And it makes everything worth it when we find the pieces that do match, when our creation comes to life and breathes air into our soul.
If we keep ourselves consistent with that vision, then we will be present to delight in its unfolding.
That is the spiritual creation.
And it is good.
The physical creation comes in arranging the temporal details.
For example, if it were true that a woman was planning a wedding, then it would also be true that she is not allowed, as it turns out, to just run off to the temple and get married without telling anyone and then blog it later, not if she wants to be all respectful and appreciative of her friends – those very friends who worked so hard to clean her up and get her ready for just such an event.
And, as it turns out, having a wedding means picking a day. You cannot just pick any day you want. There is a timeline, you see, and the actual wedding date is a plot on a line, a plot in a story, a dot jotted down on the calendar – in your calendar, his calendar, temple calendars, church calendars, your family’s calendars, his family’s calendars.
And, as it turns out, the whole world wants to celebrate, and so you get a Muslim wedding dress from the West Bank and fabric from Paris, and lace from Israel, and slips from Sydney, shoes from London, and ribbons upon ribbons from all the women who have mentored you for this very moment. They are free presents for a party you didn’t even know you were having.
And, as it turns out, after the sacred union begins, those very women want to throw you a big ole party, even though you really just wanted to say yes, sign a paper, and call it done.
But it isn’t done, and the women folk know better than you what you are about to jump into, so they try to numb you up with a party, like the way the dentist gives you nitrous before sticking a giant needle in your gums.
Speaking of signing papers, as it turns out, it might be that when a woman gets married is the only chance she has to put her biological pre-adoption given name back on paper, while her name is being changed anyway. It might look kind of funny, and she can keep her grown-up name as her first name, but it is the only way to put things back in Order.
Because, as it turns out, when a woman gets married, it is a brand new start, a fresh new start, a beginning of everything, just as hard as anything.
Excepting you aren’t alone anymore.
Because you are creating something, something never created before.
You do it, even though you have no idea what you are doing, because you have an eternal-vision, and because your eyes are full of covenant-stars, and your mind is full of silly-sappy ideas, and your heart is full of love.
You do it, because you sense what is becoming, even though it is is not yet.
Because a thing created is loved before it exists.