To make this a purely scientific test, we first needed to establish a baseline peep.
We took the first willing volunteer:
And then we microwaved him:
So we took the next volunteer, and this time stopped the microwave pre-explosion:
This made our first official s’more!
This method worked well with raspberry jam and with normal chocolate. Nutella was too sweet. Nutella is a s’more unto itself.
Phase Two of The Great Peep Experiment was to try the chocolate covered peeps instead of using other filler:
It was like microwaving sunshine!
These did not explode. They didn’t even swell up so much. Mostly they melted into a pudding like those doughnuts with the creamy stuff inside.
When I squashed a graham cracker on top, it kind of grossed me out, straight up. So I made mom eat it. I gave the plate to her with a fork, and told her I made peep pie. She said it was nasty.
Phase Three of The Great Peep Experiment added fire to the equation. That makes it real science, if you use fire.
It was much more difficult to come up with volunteers for this experiment.
This is a lot like what 2011 felt like to me:
It turns out that peeps aren’t your mama’s creme brûlée. They also have a higher spontaneous combustion temperature:
This did not turn out well for the poor little guy.
I also caught my hair on fire twice, which is what I get for not brushing my hair since Monday.
It took several tries and much practice to get the little guy carmelized just right:
The dark spots are not burn places, but where his little eyeballs melted down.
This was amazing, totally giving him that crispy creme brûlée-ish shell we love.
It made for a delightful sensory experience when I squashed the top cracker down on him.
This one was good, though the carmelized shell turned very chewy very quickly, in a yummy kind of way.
This made us want to add a phase four, where we first melted a peep to almost-explosion so that the sugar is spread out even more, then roasted the little chicken.
Except, as it turns out, all that made was Darth Peep.
Disclaimer: No actual experiments were harmed by these chickens. I mean, no actual harm came to these experimental chickens. I mean, don’t eat high fructose corn syrup for dinner.