Stardust and Clovers

It is a miracle day, with every single patient showing up as scheduled, and I assume it is a collective gift of my mortgage payment while I am off work next month.

Nearly finished, it is time for the drive home.

But when the stars burst forth out of the dark canvas of night sky, synchronizing to Beethoven’s Diabelli Variations, I have no choice but to pull my car over to watch and to listen.

I turn up the volume until I can feel it in my bones, and melt into the music as the whispy clouds carry me to the stars.

There is a vision unfolding in the music, of a day when it is warm, with cool grass beneath my feet and warm sunshine on my skin. I run and run, delighted, until I collapse in a field of clovers and dandelions.

Why is clover cooler than grass?

Cloud whisps become white fluffs of dandelion carried off by the wind.

I want to play, and pluck them all, and let the wind lift the spindle-clouds to the sun.

I want to laugh and dance with them, and imagine myself a butterfly.

But they do not wait for me, and I am left in a cocoon without wings.

Why is clover cooler than grass?

I turn away, pretending not to grieve, pretending that what I really wanted to do was sit in the field of clovers and make daisy-chains from the white clover flowers.

Very busy and very hard at work, I knit jewelry for a Queen. I am careful and cautious, holding the coronation jewels so they do not break. My fingers brush through the clover, looking for flowers, pretending not to mourn the dandelions.

I think I should be able to fly to the sun, and that it would feel a lot like swimming.

Why is clover cooler than grass?

My crowns and necklaces are fit for any fairy princess destined to be a Queen.

I do not dare place them on my head.

Instead, I lay them aside, and reach across the clover for a dandelion still yellow. It smells like sunshine. It won’t blow away if it is still yellow. I tuck it behind my ear, so that it knows it is mine.

Why is clover cooler than grass?

The final variation comes as a minuet, and the sound of the piano brings me back to the night sky, and I see my little niece dancing.

She will run to greet me when I get home, and I will know what it means to be loved by a child still innocent and pure.

I will put imaginary flower-crowns on her head, and I will know what it means to love a child, even of far-away lands.

Why is clover cooler than grass?

About Emily

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints since 2009. I serve as a Chaplain, and work as a counselor. I got bilateral cochlear implants in 2010, but will always love sign language. I choose books over television, and organics over processed. Nothing is as close to flying as ballroom dancing - except maybe running, when in the solo mood. I would rather be outside than anywhere else, especially at the river riding my bike or kayaking. PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy, and currently doing a post-doc in Jewish Studies and an MDiv in Pastoral Counseling. The best thing about Emily World is that it's always an adventure, even if (not so) grammatically precise. The only thing better than writing is being married to a writer. Nathan Christensen and I were married in the Oklahoma City temple on 13 October 2012, and have since fostered more than eighty-five children. We have adopted the six who stayed, and are totally and completely and helplessly in love with our family. Nathan writes musical theater, including "Broadcast" (a musical history of the radio) and an adaption of Lois Lowry's "The Giver". He served his mission in South Korea, has taught song-writing in New York City public schools, and worked as a theater critic for a Tucson newspaper. This is not an official Web site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


Stardust and Clovers — 1 Comment

  1. J’aime ce style d’écriture, un peu comme une poésie, un peu comme une chanson. De la prose-poétique-chantée (sang poetic prose).